Rachel Goldberg-Polin, mother of Hersh, kidnapped and killed by Hamas, met with world leaders and Pope Francis to save her son. Listed by "Time" among the 100 most influential people, she continues to fight for the release of the hostages, remembering that "tears are all the same"
She has traveled the world to speak with world leaders, such as Joe Biden and Pope Francis, she has been awarded by Time which included her in the annual list of the 100 most influential people on the planet, she has held a speech at the United Nations in Geneva, she has given interviews to the major world newspapers and participated in many initiatives to raise public awareness on the release of Israeli hostages in the hands of Hamas, including her son Hersh, a 23-year-old Israeli-American, kidnapped on October 7, 2023 while he was at the Nova Music Festival, in Reim.
Rachel Goldberg-Polin did the impossible to save Hersh. But his battered body was found in Gaza, in a tunnel near Rafah, on August 31. “Bring them home,” is the slogan of the Forum for the families of the hostages: despite the tragic loss, Rachel continues to carry on, with the Forum, her mission for the liberation of the hostages with the awareness, she explains, that “tears are all the same. There is no competition in pain, all human beings feel pain. The dangerous and heartbreaking thing is to believe that there is a competition between these two pains. There is no competition between the suffering of civilians living in Gaza and that of those who were dragged into Gaza.” Rachel lives in Jerusalem, together with her husband Jonathan and their two daughters. Today, March 8, Rachel speaks to SIR as a mother, wife, teacher and woman and her words are a powerful testimony of peace.
What does it mean to be a mother in a time of war?
I think it is very complex and painful to be a mother in a time of war because, if we try, we can perceive the suffering of every mother. It is a difficult challenge but I think that one of the most extraordinary parts of the intellect, with which God has blessed us, is precisely the ability to feel empathy for others. In this regard, as a mother I have reflected a lot in this period of great suffering that began on October 7.
I think of all the mothers here in Israel who have lost their children to violence, those whose children fight to protect people, and those who are among the hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians in Gaza, be they children or parents.
We are all immersed in a deep abyss of suffering and I hope that, despite the pain, we still have the ability to 'feel' the suffering of others.
Her son Hersh was kidnapped and killed by Hamas in Gaza. How can you turn this pain into a mission of encounter and recognition of the suffering of others, without falling into a spiral of hatred and revenge?
I don't think it was so much a decision made as something that emerged naturally. If we are guided by principles of righteousness and morality and, in my case, if my worldview is rooted in my faith, then it is almost inevitable that we recognize that there are other people involved. We have to transcend our pain and figure out how we can live together, because
We have only two choices: learn to live together or die together.
These are the only options, as the Bible says, the book of Deuteronomy (30:19) when God puts us before a choice: “I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live.” This phrase constantly resonates in my mind: we must choose life.
Is there a 'metric' to quantify the intensity of this pain?
There is no competition in pain. Suffering cannot be measured. When we try to do so, we all end up losing. Each of us, in the course of life, is faced with events that we have not chosen. We must recognize that each person carries suffering with them and that this is not a competition.
All tears are the same.
Is accepting and living with this suffering a path to healing? What would you say to families who are going through an experience similar to yours?
The healing process is not linear. There are days when the pain is unbearable and it seems like there is no progress in this journey of inner reconstruction. But it is normal. It is important to know that it is normal. The healing path is tortuous and, at times, it seems to go backwards before moving forward. We must be patient with ourselves.
For me, as a person of faith, diving deeper into my spirituality has been a great support. But I know that’s not the case for everyone. I can’t imagine how much harder it must be for those who don’t have faith. This pain is immense, overwhelming, all-encompassing. And I thank God for believing in Him.
As a mother: in a context like the one you are experiencing, how important is it to educate children to see the other not as an enemy but as a friend?
We are inundated with messages and voices that tell us that we must be adversaries, enemies, that we must think in terms of "us against them". We receive these messages from an early age and we end up believing this construction of reality. I don't think all this has helped us as human beings. I think there is still room to say that we are not the same, but we can respect each other. I can live my life, you can live yours, and we can do it without hostility. Peace, utopia, redemption, salvation are aspirations we can strive for. But we can also be pragmatic, realistic and say: today, now, let's try to reduce suffering, pain, violence, hostility. I think many people feel discouraged because they think that peace is an unattainable goal, something too far away. But instead of saying we will never have peace, let’s ask ourselves, “Can we reduce the pain a little? Can we reduce the anger? Can we reduce the hate?” These are smaller steps, but they are doable. And I think we miss out on great opportunities when we don’t even try to take that path.
On November 22, 2023, with the relatives of other hostages, he met Pope Francis who recalled that Israelis and Palestinians "both suffer a lot: wars do this, but here we have gone beyond wars, this is not waging war, this is terrorism". The pontiff's appeals for peace and his invitations to remain human are continuous. But how can we remain human and save our humanity?
It is a profound and powerful question. I believe that the first step is to look at the other and ask ourselves what we have in common instead of immediately looking for who knows how many differences. When the Holy Father said those words, for me they were of enormous value and comfort. I always carry them with me. And I try, even if it is difficult, to put them into practice. It is difficult, when you are in the midst of pain, when you are mourning, when the loss is still an open wound. And the trauma that the Jewish people and the State of Israel, and not only the Jewish people, experienced on October 7 is not over yet. There are still 59 people, of all faiths – Jews, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists – who are prisoners. When you are in this suffering, it is difficult to remain rational. But I believe that
Our only hope is to try to understand what we have in common with the person in front of us.
And what we all feel, without distinction, is pain. And if we can understand it, maybe we can find a way to ease our pain and that of others too.